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The Role of Exes in Our Lives

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There are many different opinions on the role of exes in our lives. Some people believe that we should cut all ties with them and never speak to them again, while others think that they can still be a valuable part of our lives. What is the right answer? That depends on your personal situation. In this blog post, we will explore both sides of the argument and help you decide what is best for you.

What Role Do Exes Play in Our Lives and Why Do We Keep Them Around Even After a Breakup?

Exes are a complicated part of our lives, and I think we tend to keep them around for a number of reasons. For one, exes can be helpful guides when it comes to navigating new relationships. Often, they provide valuable insight into things like the boundaries of what’s healthy and what’s not, and they help us to better understand ourselves as well as other people.

Secondly, exes can serve as emotional crutches. When a breakup hits us hard, exes provide an opportunity to vent our feelings without worrying that they’ll respond with hurtful words or negative actions. And thirdly, exes continue to play an important (if often subconscious) role in our everyday lives.

Whether this is through silently comparing new relationships unfavourably to previous ones, holding on to old keepsakes and mementoes as reminders of happier times, or simply having trouble fully moving on after years of being intertwined with another person. In these ways and more, exes remain an important part of who we are – for better or for worse. And even though breakups can feel like the end of the world at first, they ultimately pave the way for new beginnings.

Overall, exes have the ability to fill many different roles in our lives – and no matter how painful breakups may be at the time, that isn’t likely to change anytime soon.

Should you Date Someone Your Friend Has Dated?

Whether or not it’s a good idea to date someone your friend has dated is a question that many people struggle with. Some would argue that exes should be off-limits, as getting involved with an ex can lead to messy situations and hurt feelings. Others might claim that exes are fair game, seeing them as simply another experience you can learn from.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to date an ex comes down to individual circumstances and factors such as compatibility and trust. Dating is about finding the person who makes you happy and fulfils your needs, so don’t let other people’s opinions limit what you’re looking for in a partner! Instead, make sure your decisions are grounded in what works best for you personally.

At the end of the day, the best course of action is often to simply communicate openly and honestly with your friend about your intentions. By being clear about your intentions from the get-go, you will avoid hurt feelings and unnecessary complications in your relationship. So if you’re considering dating an ex, just keep this in mind – communication is key! Either way, it’s important, to be honest with yourself and your friend about how you feel. Only then can you make the decision that’s best for everyone involved.

Should your Friend Date Someone You’ve Dated?

Of course, it’s not always easy to remain on good terms with your exes. However, it’s important to remember that they are still people with feelings, just like you. So, before you answer the question of whether or not you think it’s a good idea for your friend to date your ex, you should ask yourself how you would feel in their position. Would you be happy for them? Or would you feel betrayed?

On the one hand, it can be seen as a betrayal of trust; after all, you and your ex were once close, and the union of your friend and your ex feels like a violation of that trust. On the other hand, if you’re both adults and the relationship ended on good terms, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to date whoever you want. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to date a friend’s ex is up to you. If you’re comfortable with the idea, go for it. But if it doesn’t feel right, it’s probably best to steer clear. Sometimes, exes are exes for a reason.

Dating Someone Who’s Friends with Their Ex

Being friends with your ex is one thing, but dating someone who is still friends with their ex can be a tricky situation. On the one hand, it’s great that your partner is on good terms with their ex and can remain civil. However, it’s also possible that their friendship is a little too close for comfort. If you’re thinking about dating someone who is still friends with their ex, here are a few things to keep in mind. 

First, make sure that you’re okay with the idea of your partner being friends with their ex. If you’re not comfortable with it, then it’s probably not the right relationship for you or it’s time to try the next step.

Second, communication is key. If you’re feeling jealous or uncomfortable about your partner’s relationship with their ex, talk to them about it. They may not even realize that you’re feeling this way, and once they do, they can work to put your mind at ease. 

Third, try to get to know their ex a little better. If they’re unwilling to introduce you or if they talk about their ex all the time, it might be a sign that they’re not over them yet. Lastly, trust your gut. If something feels off about their relationship with their ex, then it’s probably best to move on.

 Should you Date a Friend of Your Ex?

It’s a dilemma that we’ve all faced at one point or another: you meet someone new, and they happen to be friends with your ex. Should you date them? It’s a tough question, and there’s no easy answer. On the one hand, it could be a great opportunity to get to know someone new. On the other hand, it could be a recipe for disaster. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you find yourself in this situation.

First, ask yourself why you’re interested in dating this person. If it’s simply because they’re friends with your ex, then you might want to reconsider. It’s important to date someone for the right reasons, not just because they happen to know someone you know. 

Secondly, think about how comfortable you would feel if your ex were to show up while you were on a date with their friend. If the thought of this makes you uncomfortable, it’s probably not worth pursuing. 

Thirdly, ask yourself how strong your feelings are for this person. If you’re just trying to rebound, it’s probably not worth getting your ex’s friends involved. But if you’re truly interested in them, it might be worth taking the leap. Who knows – you might end up surprising yourself (and your ex) in the best way possible. 

Finally, consider how your ex would feel if they found out you were dating their friend. If there’s a good chance they would be hurt or angry, it’s probably not worth it.

Can you be friends with your ex while dating someone else?

Whether or not you can be friends with your ex while dating someone new is a hotly debated topic. Some people say that it is impossible to maintain a friendship with an ex after you start seeing someone new, as there will always be lingering feelings that might damage your current relationship.

However, others believe that exes can actually make great friends, as they often have shared experiences and interests that others might not. There are certainly ways that exes can remain friends without compromising their budding relationships or causing conflict. For example, If you want to remain friends with your ex-partner, it is important to set boundaries early on so that both parties behave respectfully towards each other and their new partners. 

It is also essential to communicate with your current partner about your friendship with your ex, as they might feel uncomfortable about the situation if they are not kept in the loop. it is up to you and your ex to decide whether or not you want to remain friends. If you decide to give it a try, be sure to take things slow and be respectful of everyone involved.

In the end, the answer to this question depends on the individuals involved and their levels of maturity and trust. If both parties are communicative and respectful of each other’s relationships, then it may indeed be possible to maintain a friendship with your ex while dating someone else. But ultimately, this comes down to each couple’s unique situation and dynamics. So whether you choose to keep your ex in your life or cut all ties completely is simply a matter of personal choice. After all, only you know what is best for you.

Is it ever possible to maintain a friendship with an ex after a breakup, or is that too complicated as well?

It’s a question we’ve all asked ourselves at one point or another: is it possible to be friends with an ex after a breakup? The answer, unfortunately, is not a simple yes or no. In some cases, it may be possible to maintain a friendship with an ex, particularly if the break-up was amicable. However, in other cases, it may be best to move on and focus on building new relationships. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to remain friends with an ex is a personal one that depends on the individuals involved. 

If you really want to maintain a friendship with your ex after a breakup, there are a few things you’ll need to keep in mind. First, don’t try to force the friendship – just let it happen naturally. 

Second, don’t bring up old baggage or try to relive the past. And third, be accepting of the fact that your relationship will never be exactly the same as it was before. If you can do all that, then you’re well on your way to being friends with your ex! Exes are complicated, and friendships are even more so – so tread carefully before making any decisions.

Are there any benefits to staying friends with an ex after breaking up, or is it better to cut all ties completely?

There’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to whether or not you should stay friends with an ex after breaking up. Some people find that they’re able to remain friends and that it’s actually beneficial to their relationship, while others find that it’s too painful and prefer to cut all ties. If you’re trying to decide what’s right for you, there are a few things to consider.

First, think about why you want to stay friends with your ex. Is it because you genuinely enjoy their company and want to maintain a friendship, or is it because you’re hoping to get back together? If it’s the latter, you might want to rethink your decision, as staying friends in this situation can often be more painful than helpful.

On the other hand, if you’re simply looking to remain friends, there are a few benefits that can come from it. For example, staying friends with an ex can help you better understand each other and learn from your past mistakes. Additionally, it can give you both closure on the relationship and allow you to move on more easily. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to stay friends with an ex is a personal one that only you can make. Consider your reasons carefully before making a decision

How do we know when it’s time to finally move on and cut ties with an ex for good?

There can be many signs that it’s time to finally move on and cut ties with an ex for good. If you find yourself constantly thinking about them, or if you can’t seem to get over them despite moving on to other relationships, it may be time to let go.

If your ex is causing you more pain than happiness, it may be time to cut ties. Of course, everybody heals from breakups at their own pace, so ultimately only you can decide when the time is right. But if you’re struggling to let go, it may be worth considering whether or not moving on is the best option for you.

If you’re having a hard time deciding whether or not to move on from an ex, here are a few things to consider:

1. How much pain are you still feeling?

If you’re still hurting from the breakup, it may not be the best time to move on. You need time to heal before you can start fresh with someone new.

2. How often do you think about your ex?

If you find yourself constantly thinking about your ex, it may be a sign that you’re not ready to move on yet. You need to focus on healing and moving on before you can start thinking about starting a new relationship.

3. Are they still in your life?

If your ex is still in your life in some way – whether it’s through social media, mutual friends, or otherwise – it may be harder to let go. It’s important to remember that the longer you stay connected, the harder it will be to move on.

There are a few key indicators that it may be time to move on from an ex for good. If you find yourself constantly thinking about them, or if you can’t seem to get over them despite moving on to other relationships, it may be time to let go.

Additionally, if your ex is causing you more pain than happiness, it may be time to cut ties. Of course, everybody heals from breakups at their own pace, so ultimately only you can decide when the time is right. But if you’re struggling to let go, it may be worth considering whether or not moving on is the best option for you.


Well, that’s a lot to think about. Obviously, there are no easy answers when it comes to exes. But hopefully, we’ve given you some things to consider as you navigate your way through this complicated – but common – dating terrain. one thing I want you to always remember is that whatever rules you are placing around your relationship not only apply to your partner but also apply to you. 

What do you think? Are exes essential to our growth or are they best left in the past? Share your thoughts with us in the comments.

You can always listen to us discuss these topics and more on our podcast so don’t forget to subscribe or join our email hangout for even more advice.

Blog Relationships

014: Should You Put Your Relationship on Social Media? 11 Pros and Cons to Consider

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couple checking updates on social media - Should You Put Your Relationship on Social Media? 11 Pros and Cons to Consider

So what do you think? Is social media a good idea for your relationship?

When it comes to social media, there are a lot of personal decisions that we have to make. It allows us to stay connected with friends and family all over the world, and it gives us a platform to share our thoughts and experiences. But what about our relationships? Many couples are now choosing to put their relationship on social media for all to see. But is this a good idea? There are pros and cons to consider before making this decision. In this blog post, we will take a look at 11 of the most important ones.

11 Pros and Cons to consider

1. Pro: It can help keep your relationship strong.

When you share your relationship with the world, it can help strengthen your bond with each other. Seeing all of the positive comments and likes from friends and family can make you feel appreciated and loved. It can also be a great way to show your partner how much you love them. Of course, it’s important to maintain a healthy balance between sharing your relationship online and maintaining some privacy. But if you use social media in a positive way, it can be a great tool for keeping your relationship strong.

2. Con: It can cause jealousy and envy.

Sharing your relationship on social media can sometimes backfire. When people see how happy you are together, it can often lead to feelings of jealousy and envy. This is especially true if people know that your relationship is rocky or just starting out. If people know that you’re having trouble, they might be more likely to feel jealous when they see how happy you are together. So before you post that picture of you and your bae, make sure you’re prepared for the potential consequences.

3. Pro: It can make you feel more connected to your partner.

Social media can help you feel more connected to your partner, even when you’re not physically together. Seeing their posts and updates can give you a sense of what they’re doing and how they’re feeling. This can be a great way to stay in touch when you’re apart. Of course, it’s important to balance this digital connection with real-life interaction. You don’t want to spend more time staring at your phone than you do talking to your partner! But used in moderation, social media can be a great way to stay connected to the one you love.

4. Con: It can be overwhelming.

Keeping up with social media can be a lot of work. If you’re already busy with work, school, or other obligations, it can be tough to find the time to post about your relationship too. This can often lead to feelings of resentment and pressure.

However, If that’s your thing and you’ve decided that you are going to keep up with the Jones’ but you’re struggling to find the time to post about your relationship, here are a few tips that might help: 

– Set aside some time each week to plan your posts. This way, you’ll have a game plan and won’t have to waste time coming up with ideas on the fly.

– Take advantage of scheduling tools. Many social media platforms allow you to schedule your posts in advance, so take advantage of this feature! 

– Utilize shortcuts and strategies. There are tons of ways to make social media easier, from using shortcuts

5. Pro: It can help friends and family feel involved in your relationship.

If you share your relationship on social media, it can help friends and family feel like they’re a part of your life together. They can follow along and see all the special moments that you share. This can be a great way to stay connected with loved ones who live far away.

Those in a long-distance relationship know how hard it can be to stay connected with your partner. You might not be able to see each other as often as you’d like, but there’s one way to help bridge the gap: social media. By sharing your relationship on social media, you can give your friends and family a window into your life together. They can follow along and see all the special moments that you share. Plus, it’s a great way to stay connected with loved ones who live far away. So go ahead and post those photos, share those inside jokes, and let your loved ones be a part of your relationship.

6. Con: It can take away from quality time together.

As anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows, spending quality time with your partner is essential. But in today’s age of constant technology, it can be hard to find time to truly connect. Whether you’re always on your phone or you’re constantly checking social media, it’s easy to get lost in a virtual world and forget about the real one. That’s why it’s so important to unplug and spend some time together without any distractions. You might be surprised how much more connected you feel when you’re not constantly checking your phone. So next time you’re with your partner put away your phone and just enjoy each other’s company. You’ll be glad you did.

7. Pro: It can be a great way to connect with other couples.

If you and your partner are active on social media, it can be a great way to connect with other couples. You can follow their posts, share advice, and even meet up in person if you live close by. This can be a fun way to socialize and make new friends. Plus, it’s a great way to get tips on how to keep your relationship strong. Whether you’re looking for date night ideas or ways to spice up your sex life, you’re sure to find some helpful advice from other couples who are in the same boat as you. So go ahead and start following some of your favourite couples on social media – you might be surprised at how much you have in common with them!

8. Con: It can put a lot of pressure on your relationship.

When you share your relationship on social media, it can often feel like you’re under a microscope. People are always watching and waiting for something to go wrong. This can be a lot of pressure to deal with, especially if you’re already dealing with problems in your relationship. But here’s the thing: people are only human, and relationships are complex. So it’s normal for there to be ups and downs. And it’s also normal for people to make mistakes. So if you’re feeling pressure, just remember that everyone makes mistakes and that relationships take work. And if you’re having a tough time, reach out to a friend or family member for support. Because at the end of the day, relationships are about love, not social media.

9. Pro: It can be a great way to document your relationship.

social media can be a great way to document your relationship. You can look back on all of the special moments that you’ve shared together and see how far you’ve come. This can be a great way to reminisce and feel grateful for what you have. But it can also be a great way to show off your relationship to the world. If you’re in a long-term relationship, social media can be a great way to let everyone know that you’re still going strong. And if you’re in a new relationship, social media can be a great way to share exciting news with your friends and family. In either case, social media can be a great way to document your relationship and show the world how much you love each other.

10. Con: the relationship is either too new or unstable to share with the world.

If you’re in a new relationship, it might be best to keep things off social media for a while. You don’t want to share something that could potentially end up being short-lived. The same goes for relationships that are unstable or going through a rough patch. It’s best to wait until things are back on track before posting about it online. Of course, this isn’t always possible or desirable. If you can’t resist the urge to share, there are a few things you can do to minimize the risk of your relationship status becoming news fodder. Make sure you avoid using terms like “my boyfriend” or “my girlfriend.” These labels create a sense of permanence that may not exist in your relationship. Don’t post any photos of you two together until you’re sure that the relationship is stable. Once you’ve taken these precautions, then feel free to share your relationship status with the world.

11. Con: It can give people the wrong idea about your relationship.

Social media can often give people a skewed view of reality. If you only post the good stuff, it can make it seem like you have a perfect relationship. This can be misleading and even make people feel bad about their own relationships. We all have our ups and downs, our fights and our makeup sex. And that’s okay. It’s important, to be honest, and realistic when sharing your relationship online.


Social media can be a great way to connect with friends and family, but it’s important to keep things in perspective. Just because someone appears to have a perfect life on social media doesn’t mean that’s actually the case. Everyone has their own struggles and challenges, regardless of what they post on social media. So don’t compare your real life to someone else’s highlight reel. Also, remember that people often only share the positive aspects of their lives on social media, while keeping the negative aspects private. So don’t assume that everyone else is having a better time than you are just because you see them posting about all their great experiences. Instead, focus on enjoying your own life and experiences, and use social media as a way to supplement those experiences.

P.S. If you want to learn more about relationships, be sure to join us for our next email hangout where we’ll be discussing relationships in more detail. And if you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave them below or send an email.


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Blog Relationships

The Truth About Intimacy In A Relationship (And How To Improve It)

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The Truth About Intimacy In A Relationship (And How To Improve It)

Intimacy is key in any relationship. It’s what makes us feel close to our partner, and it’s essential for maintaining a healthy connection. Unfortunately, many couples find themselves struggling in this area. They may not even know where to start when it comes to improving their intimacy. If that’s the case for you, don’t worry – you’re not alone! This blog post is designed to help guide you on how to have better intimacy in your relationship.

What is intimacy in a relationship?

Intimacy in a relationship can be defined as a closeness or feeling of being close to someone. It involves sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with your partner, and it allows you to connect in a very deep way. Intimacy is not just physical – it’s emotional and mental as well.

Where does intimacy start?

Intimacy starts from being vulnerable and open with your partner. It’s about sharing your thoughts and feelings and being willing to trust them with your innermost self. It’s a two-way street, so you have to be willing in order for things to start happening between the both of you! This can be difficult for some people, but it’s definitely worth the effort. The truth is, if your partner truly loves you, they will want to know everything about you – the good, the bad and the ugly!

Once you understand what intimacy is and where it comes from, you can start to build it into your relationship.

When intimacy starts to fade in a relationship, it can feel devastating…but the good news is that there are simple ways you can build intimacy in a relationship.

Ways to achieve intimacy in a relationship

There are many different ways to achieve intimacy in a relationship. Here are a few of the most common ones:

1. Communication

Good communication is essential for a healthy relationship. When you can openly talk to your partner about anything and everything, it builds intimacy between you. Communication doesn’t just mean talking – it also includes listening to your partner and understanding what they mean even when they are not saying the right words.

Show interest in their hobbies and activities

Find out what their hobby or activity of choice is, and then ask them about it. It’s important to show interest in things they enjoy talking about so make sure you really listen when your partner starts telling the story behind that particular pastime!

Don’t just pay attention to what they are saying, but also how they are speaking.

Keep an eye on their body language as well. our non verbal communication tells us more than just words could!. if there are any signs that your partner might be getting frustrated or bored while we speak (for example by occasionally looking away), do something surprising such as asking a question about something totally unrelated before drawing attention back to yourself again

Don’t be judgmental or dismissive, even if you don’t agree with them.

It’s important to remember that we all have different beliefs and ideas, even if they may seem strange or wrong. Try to understand your partner’s perspective on things. in other words…meet them where they are.

2. Shared Experiences

Shared experiences are another great way to build intimacy in a relationship. When you do something together that neither of you has done before, it creates a special bond between you. Experiences can be big or small – it doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you share them together.

Spend time alone together

Make time for each other! Schedule regular date nights and weekend getaways to really focus on your relationship. and be intentional about it. wear something cute, do your hair nice, spray some perfume. get yourself excited for it like a real date. the more excited you are, the more intimate the date will feel. You will be recreating those butterflies from the dating days. Alternatively, it could be as simple as going for a walk, cooking, having dinner, or watching a movie.

Be happy for your partner when they succeed

Sometimes resentment and jealousy get in the way of intimacy. Be happy for your partner when they succeed. If you’re feeling resentful or jealous of your partner, it can be tough to build intimacy. These negative emotions can get in the way of communication and ultimately destroy trust. If you ever find yourself feeling this way, try to let go of the resentment and jealousy. Be happy for your partner when they succeed, no matter what you’re feeling inside. You will have a stronger relationship and feel more intimate with each other.

3. Physical Touch

Physical touch is another very important way to build intimacy in a relationship. Human beings are tactile creatures, and we need physical contact to feel connected to others. Touch can be anything from a hug to a ki$$, and it can play a huge role in reinforcing the emotional connection between you and your partner.

Touch each other more often 

Touch has a soothing effect that can be very beneficial for your relationships. Hugging and holding hands is an excellent way to provide comfort and show love in our everyday lives. You may often see people use these tactics when they want their significant other feel better or just need some cuddles from them (depending on what type). Massaging each other’s shoulders gives off great energy too-and doesn’t require much effort at all so give this one ago tomorrow night if possible ;)Touching each other more often can help to strengthen the emotional connection between you and your partner.

4. Vunerable Conversation

This involves talking about things that are personal to you – your hopes, fears, dreams, etc. When you share these intimate details with your partner, it creates a deep bond between you.

Talk openly about your needs and desires

If you want a more intimate relationship, you need to be open and honest about what you need and want. Don’t keep them bottled up – share them with your partner! When you can talk openly about your needs and desires with your partner, it shows that you trust them as you’re sharing something very personal with them. Even if you’re afraid of being rejected or laughed at. When you share your vulnerabilities with your partner, it shows that you trust them implicitly and that you have faith in the relationship.

When it comes to intimacy, it can be hard to voice what we want. When you’re in a relationship, We may feel as though our partner already knows everything. they don’t! If something’s been bothering or troubling lately, don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. Chances are, your partner wants the same things that you do. If you’re not sure what it is that you want, talk to your partner about it. They’ll be more than happy to help make your desires a reality. And who knows – you might even find out that you both want the same thing! They’ll be more than happy to help listen and support you.

Being honest with your partner is key to having a healthy, intimate relationship. It can be difficult to be honest about certain things, but it’s important to do so. When you’re able to be truthful with each other, it builds trust and strengthens the relationship. It can also help you resolve disagreements in a more constructive way.

What are some common intimacy issues?

Lack of Trust

Lack of trust can be caused by a number of things, including past hurts and betrayals. If you don’t feel like you can trust your partner with your emotions or your body, it can be difficult to have an intimate relationship with them.

Feeling unworthy or undeserving of love can also lead to a lack of trust in intimacy. If you don’t believe that you’re worthy of love, it can be difficult to trust your partner when they say they love you.

Feeling like you can’t trust your partner can lead to a lot of tension and conflict in the relationship.

Trust is essential for any healthy relationship – without it, there’s little chance for intimacy to grow.

Fear of Intimacy

Fear of intimacy can be caused by a number of things, including a fear of being hurt or rejected. If you’re afraid of being close to someone, it can be difficult to have an intimate relationship with them. Especially if you have been hurt or betrayed in the past. Who has broken up with some out of fear of being hurt first? I know I have! Or you have a sensitive topic to address and you are afraid of your partner’s reaction.

Not Feeling Desired

One common intimacy issue that many couples face is the feeling that one person is not desired. This can be caused by a number of things, such as feeling unattractive, feeling like you’re not good enough for your partner, or feeling like you’re not meeting your partner’s needs.

When you don’t feel desired by your partner, it can be difficult to feel intimate with them. You may feel as though you’re not good enough or that you’re not worth their time. This can lead to a lot of resentment and conflict in the relationship.

If you’re feeling this way, talk to your partner about it. Let them know how you’re feeling and see if they can help make you feel more desired. Chances are, they want to make you feel loved and desired. They just may not know how to do it.

These are just a few of the common intimacy issues that couples face. If you’re experiencing any of these issues, don’t hesitate to talk to your partner about it. They’ll be more than happy to listen and help resolve the issue.

How to overcome intimacy issues

Understand what intimacy means to you

Intimacy can mean different things to different people. It’s important to understand what intimacy means to you and your partner. This way, you can work together to create a deeply intimate relationship that meets both of your needs.

Some people may view intimacy as being physically close to their partner, while others may see it as being emotionally close. You and your partner need to talk about what intimacy means to you both. You should both be on the same page so that you know what each of you expects from the relationship.

Be open and honest

Build trust.

Trust can be rebuilt if it’s been damaged, but it takes time and effort.

Trust should never be taken for granted – it needs to be earned and maintained.

If you’re not comfortable talking about something, try to find a way that won’t lead to an argument.

If you’re struggling with trust issues, it’s important to talk to your partner about them and try to find a way to overcome them. Make sure you are as open and honest with your partner as possible.

Ultimately, both partners need to be willing to work on rebuilding trust for the relationship to improve.

With time and effort, most couples can learn to trust each other again and enjoy a deeply intimate relationship.

Get Professional Help

If you’re struggling with intimacy issues, it’s best to seek professional help from a coach, therapist or counsellor. They can help you understand and overcome the issues that are preventing you from having a deep, intimate relationship.

Intimacy is an important part of any relationship. If you’re struggling with intimacy issues, don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional.


Remember, be patient. overcoming intimacy issues takes time and effort. It won’t happen overnight. But with patience and hard work, you can overcome any obstacle in your way. If you’re not patient, you’re likely to get frustrated and give up. This will only lead to more problems in the relationship.

communicate during disagreements

Disagreements are bound to happen in any relationship, but it’s how you handle them that matters. Remember…communication is key! Cliche…I know! But…When you can communicate effectively AND calmly during a disagreement, it shows that you’re willing to work through things together. It also helps to clear the air and can make it easier to move on from the disagreement. And the best thing about being able to resolve a disagreement is that you can have makeup afterwards!

when communicating during a disagreement… I want you to take 7 things into consideration:

1. Don’t take things too personally

When you’re in the moment, it can be hard to remember that what you are feeling is temporary. But remember this: everyone has their own opinion and there’s no way of knowing whether yours would have been different had they known any information other than just your experience with a situation or personality. So don’t let little mistakes ruin great relationships, and try to remain kind even if they aren’t

2. Stay calm and collected

When, in the history of ever, has someone saying “calm down” ever made you calm down…like seriously?!! what I know is taking a deep breath and counting down from five and if that doesn’t work then counting down from ten and if that doesn’t work…then taking a time out to calm down is required. It’s important to stay calm and keep your composure so that you can resolve your disagreement otherwise you’ll say or do something in the heat of the moment that you may regret.

3. Use “I” statements

Use “I” statements to show that you are aware of your own limitations and need for improvement.

The general rule is not to use the word ‘you’ when making a statement about what someone else has done or does. An example of this type of statement would be:

“Although I understand that you may be feeling a certain way, I need you to understand that I am not comfortable with xyz happening”.

This allows people to find common ground in their understanding so they can explore new paths together.

4. Be clear and concise

When you’re communicating during a disagreement, stay clear and concise. Make sure your message is not mixed up in all the drama by being careful about what words come out of each side of Your mouth! an example would be “I don’t like it when we speak in raised voices.”

5. Avoid accusatory statements

Using “you always” or “you never” are trigger statements and a sure way to start an argument. These types of accusatory statements are not only ineffective but can also be damaging to the relationship. They are also damaging towards building bridges between two people who care deeply for one another.

6. Give the other person time to cool down

Acknowledge your feelings and the other person’s feelings, then give them some time to cool down. If you’re the one who needs time to cool down, then let the other person know that you’ll need a little time and that you’ll get back to them.

It’s important to remember that just because the other person is upset, doesn’t mean that they’re wrong. Sometimes people need time to cool down before they’re able to talk about an issue calmly and effectively.

7. Understanding your role in the situation can help you take actions that improve the situation.

Increasing your self awareness of your own role in the situation can help you to develop empathy for the other person and also help you to take actions that improve the situation. When you become more aware of your own role in the situation, it can help to develop empathy for that person and take actions that can improve things.

You can increase your self awareness of your role in a disagreement by taking time to reflect on your own actions and thoughts during the disagreement. This can help you to understand why you reacted the way you did, and how you can react differently in the future. Additionally, talking to a trusted friend or therapist about the disagreement can also help you to understand your role in it. Paying attention to your emotions can also help you to understand how you’re feeling during a disagreement and how that might be affecting the situation. You can do this by keeping a journal and seeing if there is a pattern to which can help with understanding things better.

When you’re in a disagreement with someone, it can be easy to forget that the person on the other side is just that- a person. And just like you, they have feelings, needs, and a story. By taking the time to consider these seven things before communicating with the other person, you’re setting the foundation for a more productive and positive discussion. And who knows, maybe you’ll even learn something about yourself in the process


Intimacy is a vital part of any relationship, whether it be with a spouse, partner, or friend. However, intimacy can be difficult to achieve and maintain. By following our tips and advice, you can work to create an intimate relationship that lasts. Join us for our next email hangout where we will continue the discussion on intimacy in relationships! Grab your FREE Journal to help you with your self growth journey and don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast for more great content like this.


Blog Relationships

The Journey of Becoming a Sex and Intimacy Coach

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Hi and Welcome back to Lolly’s Secrets Podcast!

In this episode, I interview Cecilia Agu, a sex and intimacy coach who has a motto that “Orgasm is important”!

Some key takeaways for relationships:

1. Be with your friend

2. Have a support system

3. Make sure your relationship is a partnership

Listen till the end for 3 sex tips and a bonus!

If you want to know more about Cecilia Agu and connect with her, please see her details below:

Instagram: @bedroommatters


Connect with me on Instagram @lollys.secrets


Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast and share it with friends!

Blog Relationships

The Importance of Unpacking Emotional Baggage in a Relationship

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Hello and welcome to Lolly’s Secrets! 

If you found any of this in any way interesting don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.

Follow me on Instagram to get the latest updates on all things living your truth.

Until the next post! Ciao!


Blog Relationship Series Relationships

Relationship Series: Top 10 Date Ideas


Hi and welcome back to Lolly’s Secrets!

I asked you on Instagram what you wanted to see next on the blog and you said date night ideas. These date ideas work for anyone! if you are single and getting to know a person, or of you are already in a relationship!So enough of my ramblings! Here is my quick list and I hope you like it!


So I know this is an obvious one, but picking the right restaurant is key. It is important that you both feel comfortable wherever you go. My recommendation is to find a nice cosy mom and pop joint that has great reviews.

The service is usually very personalised and of a high level, the ambience is romantic and the food is normally hearty and delicious. This is my recommendation when you are both foodies, are looking for a quiet place with great service and somewhere that is decently priced.

In the heart of Dublin, the city where I currently live as at the time of writing this, the place I would recommend would be Mama Mia. Although small, it embodies all the characteristics of a great mom and pop restaurant for that special dinner date.


Cinema and a Nightcap

Yes! Another obvious one! But still necessary to add to the list. Not everyone has the same taste in movies but some safe options are either rom coms (Romantic comedies) or action movies.I personally prefer sci fi or fantasy and ready player one was an epic date night watch for me!

But playing it safe is always key!I suggest going to a cinema that is clean and not always crowded. Picking the best time for a show is also key. You want to see a new movie but not so new that the crowds are discouraging but new enough that the popcorn is made fresh.

The best time to go and see a movie on date night is 2 weeks after it’s opening in the cinema (so it’s not crowded), Sunday nights (with all the other couples so no annoying people) and the screen time just before the last showing (so you get enough time after for dessert or drinks).

Following the movie with a dessert and/ or drink as a post mortem for the breakdown of the movie is always a nice touch.A movie doesn’t really give you enough of a chance to talk and very few like a chatty Kathy in the movies.


So it’s always fun to do a breakdown of the movie over a shared dessert or some drinks. It is best to pick a bar or dessert spot that is intimate but opens late. I actually like Eddie Rockets for a milkshake or a luxury hotel bar because they normally open late and make fabulous cocktails!


Try Something Both Have Never Done

This is a chance for something new and exciting and the added benefit of creating new memories together!It could be a concert, gallery, skydiving….anything!!! Pick something you both have on your bucket list and go for it! It’s liberating and you get to solidify the relationship or the budding relationship through shared experiences.

Le hubs and I went on a tourist tour together which as a lot of fun!As a local, with every step you take, you are covered in the culture of the land. But you don’t really understand the history of how it all came to be. This is why tours are amazing!

As a local, you tend to believe you will get around to doing touristy stuff because you live there but put it off for so long that you don’t end up ever doing it.I’m glad we took the opportunity to see the sights of Dublin. and we didn’t even scratch the surface! we have so much more to see.The next thing I want us to do together is a cooking class.

tour bus

Try One of Your Hobbies

If you don’t already know… I absolutely love afternoon tea. I’ve been to quite a few in my time, when I lived in London, and it is something that became a little bit of an obsession. I would go to each place that served afternoon tea and rate the softness of their scones, the thickness of their clotted cream and  sweetness of their jam, their creative pastries and of course!… their different exciting and exotic teas.

I would also rate the ambience and then go to the bar and sample a speciality cocktail. I must have gone to all of the four and five star hotel’s afternoon teas in london methinks! So I dragged le hubs to afternoon tea at The Westin Hotel the other weekend and it was absolutely fabulous!!! He quite enjoyed it too I must say, and we will be trying it again in another five star hotel sometime soon!


Try One of His Hobbies

Guys are peculiar and inspiring sometimes. Be prepared for anything is what i would say and keep an open mind. These activities can range from going to a sporting event to biking across town to anything!!! Jay says he is looking forward to taking me to a basketball match. I can’t wait! In the meantime… he seems to enjoy long walks in parks and just taking in nature and chit chatting about everything we don’t get time to talk about. I secretly love these times.

stroll, walk

Bottomless Brunch

Brunch is basically my favourite meal ever in life! Why? Because you can have breakfast late or have an early lunch and still enjoy a judgy free boozy meal! It’s a win-win really!!!Then you add the bottomless factor to it and it’s just the cherry on top of the best meal ever!The best bottomless brunch I have ever been to was the Theo Randall Restaurant at the Intercontinental Hotel in Park Lane.It was buffet food and bottomless in a five star setting. What more could you ask for really?!I have had a look at a few here in Dublin and will be going soon. I’ve got my eye on Cleaver East in Temple bar seeing as the ambience looks to be the best in all my research and the menu, although not a buffet, is competitively priced.



I love doing activity-based things. People think I’m weird but I usually need an activity that keeps me engaged long enough to keep my attention for a while.Otherwise I lose interest quickly and I’ll be stuck to my phone.I’ve never learnt how to properly ride a bike and it’s on my bucket list.

I want to learn and bike around Pheonix Park with Jay.I think this is a fantastic date idea as you get to burn some calories while hanging out!Another activity that I love to do is get in a pool. And I can’t swim… don’t ask me why I like to live dangerously but yeah! I love playing in the pool and found out that Jay does as well.I think this will be in our plans in the not too distant future!

couple riding bike


Those that know me, know that I am addicted to games. Specifically board games or group games!!! In my family home, we have 4 versions of monopoly alone!!! It’s serious! I think playing a game with someone helps you to understand their character very quickly.

You get to see how far they are willing to go to win, their integrity, their humility, their ego, how they lose, how they strategise…so many traits and characteristics come out in playing games. There are now pubs and restaurants that have games you can play in their establishments.

Wow Burger in Mary’s Bar off Grafton Street for example has board games and so does The Square Ball down from Pearse Station.Jay and I played scrabble while having a few pints at The Square Ball. It was fun!


Comedy Night

If you can be with someone that makes you laugh, then you’ve got a keeper! However, going to a comedy night is also lots and lots of fun. Laughing releases endorphins which is pleasurable and calming and gives a feeling of togetherness.

Or so they say! I love a good laugh and i think most people do so comedy night is always a fun way to go. We are going to see Dave Chappelle live in Dublin soon!!! I can’t wait!



There’s something about karaoke and making a fool of yourself that lets your guard down and brings you closer to people. Or maybe it’s just me. Sometimes it’s good to let your hair down and not take yourself too seriously! Sing a ballard off key and enjoy a laugh at your own expense and that of your date.

For my birthday this year, we went to Ukiyo Bar off Dame Street and had a mad time!!! We got a room for ourselves and sang off-key and had a blast! It was so much fun! Well… that’s it for now from me! If you have any suggestions you would like to share, feel free to mention the in the comments below!


If you want to know more or connect with with me more, head on over to my Instagram  and Facebook pages.I’m sure you will be able to relate to almost everything I share. So don’t forget to follow me on all social media!If I think of more, I’ll keep you posted.

Until the next post. Ciao!